Nuisance Value

The Home Secretary, who did such a wonderful job persuading the police of the advantages of being privatised within an inch of their pensions, has announced, in the sober precincts of ITV's Daybreak, how the police will be expected to earn all the money they won't be getting. Cumbersome, bureaucratic New Labour measures such as asbos (antisocial behaviour orders), crasbos (criminal antisocial behaviour orders), isos (individual support orders) and ios (individual orders) will be replaced by sleek, summary Nasty Party measures such as CBOs (criminal behaviour orders), CPIs (crime prevention injunctions), CPOs (community protection orders) and PDPs (police direction powers). It is not as yet clear which of these will apply to gangs of overdressed bullies who smash up restaurants; but I am sure someone has the matter in hand. The old system, which favoured neighbours-from-hell who were persistently complained against, will be replaced by a new system which favours neighbours-from-hell who persistently complain against others. It appears that the new orders require a less rigorous standard of proof than was thought necessary by the likes of Charles Clarke and Agent Smith, which prompted Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition to complain that Conservative authoritarianism was nothing more than a watering-down of Labour authoritarianism.