The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Nuisance Value

The Home Secretary, who did such a wonderful job persuading the police of the advantages of being privatised within an inch of their pensions, has announced, in the sober precincts of ITV's Daybreak, how the police will be expected to earn all the money they won't be getting. Cumbersome, bureaucratic New Labour measures such as asbos (antisocial behaviour orders), crasbos (criminal antisocial behaviour orders), isos (individual support orders) and ios (individual orders) will be replaced by sleek, summary Nasty Party measures such as CBOs (criminal behaviour orders), CPIs (crime prevention injunctions), CPOs (community protection orders) and PDPs (police direction powers). It is not as yet clear which of these will apply to gangs of overdressed bullies who smash up restaurants; but I am sure someone has the matter in hand. The old system, which favoured neighbours-from-hell who were persistently complained against, will be replaced by a new system which favours neighbours-from-hell who persistently complain against others. It appears that the new orders require a less rigorous standard of proof than was thought necessary by the likes of Charles Clarke and Agent Smith, which prompted Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition to complain that Conservative authoritarianism was nothing more than a watering-down of Labour authoritarianism.


  • At 7:38 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    Could put a crimp in tourism if us ferriners are unsure what constitutes criminally offending behavior.

  • At 8:29 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    I shouldn't worry. In the tourist parts of London the presence of currency will excuse much, and on the chav reservations no doubt the standards will be fairly relaxed unless Serco have had their protection money.

    Britain. Britain, I mean. Not just London. Because we're all one big society now, and there are other places that are nearly as important. Obviously.

  • At 1:28 pm , Anonymous Michael Greenwell said...

    Tough on crime, rebuff on the causes of crime.

  • At 5:00 pm , Anonymous TheJudge said...

    Gruff on crime, fluff on the causes of crime...


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