Ministerial Code

I will adjudicate this bid
(O Fred, you are the daddy, kid!)
In fine quasi-judicial fashion.
(O how shall I constrain my passion?)
I'll be impartial, I'll be fair.
(O Dave, you know how much I care!)
No favourites, no bribes, no cheating,
(O James, a memorable meeting!)
And so I'll nod it fairly through
(O darling Rupert, just for you!)
All fair, above-board and quite clear
(Oh, Adam - no-one wants you here).

Humpery Streynsham-Argent