Dodgy Dossier

When posh boys are in trouble, as Dennis Skinner recently observed, they sack the servants; when the more vulgar type of minister is at risk of embarrassment, the usual trick is to invoke the national interest. In an act of exemplary political courage, which is all the more glorious since the anti-NHS bill has already been passed, Twizzler Lansley and his chums have vetoed publication of the risk register on the grounds that civil servants in the future might be stricken with presentational inhibitions. The Labour MP John Healey, who has campaigned for the register's publication, said that it was "totally over the top to place NHS changes on the same footing as preparations for the Iraq war"; although, since both involve demolishing necessary infrastructure and killing people for profit, the parallel may not be altogether spurious.

"I am a firm believer in greater transparency," the Twizzler blathered, explaining why his plans for the NHS were so candidly placed before the public in his party's manifesto. "Had we not taken this decision," the Twizzler blathered further, "it is highly likely that future sensitive risk registers would turn into anodyne documents," and some of these might even be worded differently, to the incalculable detriment of British plain speaking. After all, what matters the mere rule of law if we are faced with the prospect of civil servants using words that even Michael Gove might find a bit tricky?

Me at Poetry-24
A Very British Victory