Daveybloke's Double Dip

Militant Trotskyites at the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development are conspiring with militant anarcho-statisticians at the ONS in an attempt to undermine Britain's standing as a safe haven of cuts amid the choppy undercurrents of globular finance. The OECD said that Britain's output has been in decline for two successive quarters; which, thanks to the terminological depredations of the Euro-wogs and the last Labour government, technically constitutes a recession. Of course this is nothing to worry about. The British Government is technically a coalition between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, but it manages well enough at the day-to-day business of being an ultra-Thatcherite cabal with clip-on Clegg.

Remarkably enough, the OECD also noted that only Italy's economy will take longer to recover, despite the Euro-wogs having abolished the local pretence at democracy and appointed a few bankers to sort out the mess which a few bankers made some little time ago. Such measures are thought unnecessary as yet in the UK, where the Government has studiously refused to get involved in banking despite owning most of the Royal Bank of Scotland. A similar enlightened attitude is in evidence over the construction industry, which is traditionally among the first to recover from a recession. One of the country's largest firms has fallen under the influence of militant market forces to such an extent that it blames the public sector spending cuts for its continuing difficulties. Inexplicably given Britain's disinclination to tax wealth creators, the private sector has yet to leap into the breach and start hiring people by the million; and the Government is far too busy getting people thrown out of their homes to bother too much about building any more.