Prosperity, Transparency, Stability

Since leaving Downing Street for Gordon to tidy up before the Tories moved in, the Ascended Incarnation of the Reverend Blair has engaged in numerous charitable works; and some uncharitable voices at Tax Research UK, which scrutinises company finances, are now more or less accusing Tony's earthly manifestation of taking accounting lessons from Vatican Incorporated. One company, christened Windrush Ventures after his reverence's oratorical style, has received almost ten million pounds for "management services", the details of which appear to be something in the nature of a holy mystery. "It is baffling; these accounts make remarkably little sense," said one spiritually benighted accountant. Additionally, in his capacity as bringer of peace to the Middle East, Tony has been doing his best to enhance the profits of Wataniya Mobile and British Gas, both of which are clients of J P Morgan, an American investment bank which (for thus are the inscrutable ways of providence) also pays his reverence two million a year. As we try to keep warm this winter and hold onto our comparatively humble jobs for another few months, it is comforting to be reminded that one of the few remaining constants in an unstable world is the slimy avarice of the Reverend Blair.