Standing Where He Ought Not

Some Anglican clergypersons have woken up to the possibility of the Authorised Version's four hundredth anniversary being mainly associated with the name of Michael Gove; and, in the time-honoured Anglican fashion, have resolved the threat to their Church's dignity by capping mediocre farce with bad farce. Britain's Head Boy has been invited up to Oxford for a bit of a burble about God and things, and seems to have come through with a performance that would grace almost any school assembly of less than outstanding quality. Daveybloke burbled about the summer riots, the financial crash, the expenses scandal and Islamist extremism, all of which apparently resulted from an unwillingness to distinguish right from wrong. It is certainly true that many outside the Conservative party have difficulty telling God from Mammon these days. Daveybloke burbled that religious faith is neither necessary nor sufficient to help people distinguish right from wrong, but that it could be a "helpful prod in the right direction" for those less enlightened than Daveybloke and less intelligent than Iain Duncan Smith; translated into Standard English, this means that faith schools are cheaper than a proper education. Daveybloke burbled that our language and culture and Britishness and all sorts of other nice things are steeped in the Bible, except for a few faith communities which aren't, but which still make us stronger as long as they aren't killing us. Daveybloke burbled that he knew and fully respected "that many people in this country do not have a religion", but that Britain was nonetheless a Christian country and that the Bible had "helped to give Britain a set of values and morals which make Britain what it is today" - namely, by Daveybloke's reckoning, a broken society riven by riots, financial crisis, political corruption and fear of Islamic militancy.