Limited Intelligence

Britain's constructive and co-operative relations with its European partners are continuing in the usual fashion as the Ministry of Wogs, Frogs and Huns puts the Boche in their place once again. This time the squabble is about some copies of files belonging to the East German ministry for homeland security, which were obtained by the CIA after the Berlin Wall came down and then handed over to MI5. With its customary efficiency, MI5 began investigating over a hundred Britons suspected of having been Stasi agents; to date, nobody has been prosecuted. Perhaps they were all in the Metropolitan Police.

Anyway, the original files having been hastily destroyed during the reunification process, Germany has asked for the copies to be returned so that they can be added to its archives on the Stasi and made available to scholars, historians and other disreputable persons. Given the fondness of British governments since 1989 for such Stasi-friendly activities as surveillance, torture and detention without trial, there is obvious potential for embarrassment even if one discounts the possibility of Jack Straw, Agent Smith or Liam Fox being on the employee list.