The Curmudgeon


Monday, October 10, 2011

Shop a Wog and Win a Merit Badge

Since that barmy old cat lady made such an idiot of herself at ConFlab Rah Rah 2011, and since the Secretary for Beer, Skittles and Justice duly dismissed her infantile blatherings as infantile blatherings, Britain's Head Boy has predictably taken the New Labour route and called upon the Big Society to join him in cleansing all the unauthorised wogs from the shores of Albion. Nor is Daveybloke by any means satisfied with the performance of the authorised wogs. For a start, in the interests of family values, Daveybloke intends to allow the UK Border Agency to extort baksheesh of several thousand pounds from immigrants' families. Also, Daveybloke was incredulous to discover that the citizenship test is cluttered with a lot of irrelevant nonsense about people's rights and duties as citizens, rather than with questions about our glorious past. In fact, many in the indigenous population whose education took place after the accession of the sainted Thatcher have a rather shaky grasp of British history; Daveybloke's own knowledge of the subject would do credit to Sarah Palin.


  • At 7:39 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    And did those unauthorized wog feet in ancient time/
    Walk upon England's mountains green?

    Damn, it screws up the meter.

  • At 11:55 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    And did these Wogs, in Ancient Time
    Walk upon England's Belts of Green?
    And were their Customs Strange and Odd
    In Middle England's Pastures seen?
    And should this Countenance of Mine
    Not Sweat amid the Clang of Tills,
    While Dread Londonistan's builded here
    Amid these European Frills?

    Bring me my Dreams of Future Hell!
    Bring me my Indignation Drug!
    Bring me my Spleen! O Tabloids Yell!
    Bring me my Small Anglican Smug!
    I will not Wake from Mental Night
    Nor shall the Wog once Grasp my Hand
    Till we have Kicked the last Bugger out
    Of England's Nineteen-Thirties Land.

  • At 10:21 am , Anonymous Michael Greenwell said...

    Palin is not standing for election. Do you think we could persuade Cameron not to embarass himslef in public or is better to have him out in the open instead of in dark corners up to no good?

  • At 12:25 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The story about the UK being a junior partner to the US in 1940 is a bit like the story of the Bolivian and the cat: it's a myth but it seems that it is compulsory for Prime Ministers to repeat it. The effort that Churchill had to expend to drag the US into WW2 is all a bit inconvenient to the narrative of the special relationship (as is the lengths that Nott and Thatcher had to go to to get the Americans to stop supporting the Argies in 1982).


  • At 5:58 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Michael: Politicians can't embarrass themselves; it would be like a snake dying of its own poison. Worrying news about Palin - the next thing we know she could be holding senior rank in the Metropolitan Police, having abortionists shot on sight and calling all the superintendents "Lootenant" cos that's how it's done on TV.

    Guano: That sort of thing is the reason why it's so unjust to accuse the modern Conservative Party (incorporating the modern Labour Party and Nick Clegg's Deputy Conservatives) of nostalgia for Empire. In order to feel nostalgia for something, you first have to be aware that it's gone.


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