The Curmudgeon


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Consumer Responsibilitisation Through Corporate Voluntarification

Well, here's a thing: Twizzler Lansley, who has spent his time as Health Secretary doing his best to abdicate all responsibility for the nation's health, has been wagging the finger at the proles for eating too much. Of course the Twizzler, who believes that companies like Mars and Nestlé are rivalled only by private health corporations when it comes to giving good advice on how to reform the NHS, has no intention of resorting to anything so crude and small-societal as protecting the public interest through legal regulation of the sugar delivery industry; oh, perish the thought. Instead, the Twizzler made his proposals under the exquisitely New Labour rubric of "national ambition", whereby the Government urgently urges the sugar delivery industry to get somebody to do something urgently, while lecturing the proles on the necessity of cutting down on sweets. The Twizzler modestly compared himself to Michelle Obama, who holds no official post in her country's government and therefore has some excuse for resorting to advertising rather than policy-making.


  • At 5:22 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Does Jamie Oliver have any good Soylent Green recipes?

  • At 5:32 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Good lord no sugar? All that leaves is Spam, Jerky, and Velveeta. I fear chocolate covered crickets will never taste the same.

  • At 4:07 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Anon: It's really rather tragic how naïve and optimistic the great 1970s dystopias now appear. The idea that, in the first quarter of the twenty-first century, an American government might have some vague interest in feeding its own people, makes Soylent Green look almost dewy-eyed.

    Anon: Who needs chocolate-covered crickets when you can have Michael Gove
    served with oeuf sur la visage almost daily?

  • At 2:49 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Phillip, isn't this then the disconnect?

    Government's thinking they, or people thinking their Government;s have responsibilities towards THEIR people? People don't belong to Government's but rather Governments belong to the people.

    The responsibility of feeding me is mine alone.

    Our diet and health as specific cases in point have been degraded by Government malfeasance in the very social engineering projects they claim to be undertaking for our benefit.

    Mars and Nestle exist in all their glory as do Coca-cola and Tobacco companies among others because they helped us win some wars.

    While Hitler was engaging in or at least touting Eugenics, genetic engineering, selective breeding and stimulating himself and soldiers with amphetamines; our team used caffeine, tobacco, and high calorie low volume "nutrition" like spam, jerky, k-rations, candy bars and technologies like freeze drying, canning and juicing to the extreme to supply our soldiers at least stress to our logistics train and win WWII and subsequent wars.

    Health and nutrition issues we have today such as cancer, diabetes and obesity were caused by Government policies to feed it's people in the first place.

  • At 12:47 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    People don't belong to Government's but rather Governments belong to the people.

    In our present system, governments belong to those can buy them. If you can stump up £50,000 for dinner with Daveybloke, you might get listened to; otherwise you can pay your taxes, read the manifesto every five years and be ignored with an amused sneer when the promises are broken.

    The responsibility of feeding me is mine alone.

    Not unless you're a solitary hunter-gatherer, it isn't. In a highly complicated and overcrowded society, the responsibility for feeding you is diffused among producers, packagers, wholesalers, transporters and retailers, and somebody has to organise things. Whether that somebody should be a cartel of profiteering corporations or a representative government or (always a tempting prospect in times of trouble) a dictator who simply orders things sorted out and then shoots people until they are, is precisely the point at issue.

  • At 3:46 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ok Phillip but who will do the organizing? Imagine if Government ran a Football Club I reckon we'd have the poor bloke who unhappily scored an own goal in some key match elevated to Head Coach.

    We'd have Goal Keepers trained to be on the lookout for those embarrassing own goals at all costs ignoring even the opponents peppering the undefended nets time after time.

    The Govt would then tout that despite an 0-10 record and 200 goals against that their own-goal-prevention plan was a rousing success.

    Then we'd actually have honest debate with equal merit given to those who argue losing uncompetitive Football without own goals is the way the sport was meant to be played. And since the ticket buying public is too dumb to see it and fails to attend the matches, the Govt will step in and insure sellouts of each game, To make things equal, every team will get 100,000 tickets purchased even if their stadium only seats 5,000.

  • At 3:50 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Oh btw the Aussies are in the process of eliminating burials and cremations of the departed pushing instead a process using chemicals and enzymes to liquify dead bodies and using them as fertilizer.

    Soylent-Green is actually here...see Aquamation


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