Coming Early

It seems that Daveybloke and his Cuddly Coalition have managed to spray a little cheer across our high streets after all. Desperate retailers are trying to stimulate consumer demand by bringing the Christmas corporate orgasm to a premature ejaculation, even as certain underpaid voices hinted nearly a decade and a half ago. Marks and Spencer on Oxford Street are pushing mince pies which will pass their sell-by date about six weeks before Christmas usually starts, and some chains are even rolling out the Christmas puddings. The likely result, according to at least one analyst, is that consumers will simply wait for the last-minute bargains which will presumably start emerging around the third week in November, as the shops try to clear their shelves for the Easter eggs.