The All-New Wee Free Quarter Pounder Flounder

The horror of potential Scottish independence took on a new sense of horror today as the deputy leader of the Scottish Conservatives threatened to secede from the British Empire. Murdo Fraser, who is running for the party leadership, argues that Lord Ashcroft's British national party is so discredited in the eyes of Scottish voters that only a new and re-branded club of tax-cutting right-wingers can hope to make any headway. The Scottish Conservatives have pointed out in the past that they are constitutionally separate from the party on the mainland; but the voters persist in seeing this as a purely technical issue, as in the case of Nick Clegg.

Fraser envisions the new party as allied to, but independent of, Daveybloke's Cuddlies, much as Daveybloke's Cuddlies are allied to, but independent of, the far-right lunatics and climate change deniers in Europe. Certainly Fraser is a veritable meat machine-gun of Blairite verblessness: "A new party. A winning party with new supporters from all walks of life. A new belief in devolution. A new approach to policy-making. A new name. But most importantly, a new positive message about the benefits of staying in and strengthening our United Kingdom. A new party. A new unionism. A new dawn." A New Labour. Another one.

Daveybloke's own view of the matter is not clear. Liam Fox is against it, but Liam Fox probably still has to struggle a bit in dealing with concepts like Indian independence and the Irish Republic. Doubtless Daveybloke would not particularly mind if Scotland were governed by a cabal of neoliberal thugs spouting God Save the Queen; but on the other hand a war to keep the kingdom together might be just the thing to secure him a majority at Westminster if George keeps on getting his sums wrong.