The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Police Innocence Shock

Fury at waste of resources as top cop souls found white as snow

Several senior former personnel at the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club have been cleared of all wrongdoing by the Inspectorate of Police for a Contented Constabulary.

Peter Clarke and Andy Hayman, on whose watch the original phone-hacking investigation was carried out to the satisfaction of News International, were cleared of conduct unbecoming to policemen.

A spokesbeing for the IPCC said it was concerned only with matters of "recordable conduct" and that it was no part of the Inspectorate's remit to worry about whether or not policemen did their jobs properly.

However, the former assistant commissioner, John Yates, faces a further process of exoneration after being accused of securing a job at the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club for the daughter of Murdoch werebeast Neil Wallis.

It is thought that, as with Hayman's employment by News International, the IPCC will find that the episode constituted a tragic and unfortunate coincidence, rather than endorsing conspiracy theories about police corruption.

Former commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson was investigated for accepting hospitality worth £12,000 from a spa which, by another tragic and unfortunate coincidence, employed Neil Wallis as its public relations manager.

Stephenson criticised the IPCC for wasting its resources getting him off the hook at a time when genuine, taserable criminals were rampantly updating social media sites or stealing scoops of ice cream.


  • At 6:23 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    Well, it all depends on your definition of "conduct unbecoming" then.

  • At 4:37 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    There has to be order, you know. I suppose you'd rather have Brazilian electricians and middle-aged news vendors running free all over the place.


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