Decorative Traditions

Despite the Reverend Tony's politically correct cringes over the civilising influence that was the Atlantic slave trade, the Gove-Ferguson™ model of history - manly chaps doing jolly things for money - continues to shine forth as a beacon to show lesser countries how Britain got where it is today. Even the Italian edition of Vogue has been feeling the benefits, though not without a certain post-cretinal tristezza. An article headed "Slave earrings", which blathered about "the decorative traditions of the women of colour who were brought to the southern Unites States during the slave trade", has had to be revised because of what the editor-in-chief called "really bad translation". With nuance duly restored, it turns out that the women were not really slaves but ethnics, and that they were not brought to the southern United States during the slave trade but during the late eighteenth century, apparently for the sole purpose of dynamising the local market in earrings. Nevertheless, it is clear that Vogue Italia still has a few small educational hurdles before it; no genuine graduate in the Gove-Ferguson™ model of history would refer to assertively labour-incentivised proto-immigrant resources as women of colour.