Bright Young Things

Frustrated and annoyed at the lack of true Tory values in Daveybloke's privatising, prole-bashing, immigrant-imprisoning, gambler-pandering, wog-bombing government, some of the Not Particularly Bright Party's yoof wing have apparently decided that a bit of self-assertion is called for. Nothing helps to strengthen a weak administration like dissension in the ranks, as the interregnum that occupied Downing Street between Thatcher and her godson Tony could testify. Unfortunately, like Daveybloke during the New New Labour years, or the Upper (formerly Lower) Miliband during the Daveybloke years, the malcontents are caught in an awful dilemma: they want to be seen as courageous, dynamic and pushing the box outside the envelope, but since they agree with the status quo in everything except a few minor details this is no easy matter. "What is the point of being an MP if you can't put forward ideas?" blathered one evidently constituent-free contributor to the True Tory manifesto movement, which various True Tories are using to put forward ideas such as a lower-tax economy (yawn), radical ideas on immigration (uh huh), radical ideas on criminal justice (whatever), radical ideas on the future of public services (next please) and a commitment to civil liberties which will doubtless prove highly negotiable once the Liberal Democrats have been peeled off and flicked away and a few more ministries are on offer.