The Curmudgeon


Monday, June 13, 2011

It's Got Legs

I have not seen The Human Centipede (First Sequence) and don't intend to; from what I have read it's a fairly orthodox - which is to say, worthless - chunk of torture-porn whose originality starts and ends with its inventively disgusting premise. I have little doubt that The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is about as good as lumpenpostmodern sequels to worthless films generally are; and the whole artificial anthropoid arthropod would have remained comfortably beneath my notice had it not been for the audio-visual police at the British Board of Film Classification. The BBFC has refused the Full Sequence a DVD release on the grounds that having certain sounds and images emanate from a screen in front of a viewer is potentially dangerous to that viewer; although the evidence of increased social ills in countries where, say, Grotesque or the complete A Serbian Film are available appears as elusive as the evidence that many of our own citizens have been endangered by the uncut Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist or Salò.

From what has been revealed of the plot (rather more than necessary, according to the distributor's complaints), it appears that the Human Centipede sequel depicts a man who sees the first film and is driven to emulate and surpass: a premise with which one would imagine our moral guardians might sympathise. Perhaps some of the more impressionable among them found it a bit too close to home? In any case, the distributors are almost certainly correct in their assertion that "through their chosen course of action, the BBFC have ensured that the awareness of this film is now greater than it would otherwise have been"; and there can be little doubt that the market in bootleg copies will have received a welcome - perhaps even a hundredfold - shot in the trochanter. The forthcoming American remake, in which the victims are separated, the bad guys splurged and the girls swept off their very own legs by Uzi-toting surgically-inclined maverick cops, will unquestionably be passed without demur from the Hollywood rectum to the consumer's maw.


  • At 7:29 am , Blogger broken biro said...

    I hadn't heard of this. Thanks for 'doing your bit' to publicise it to those whose minds had so far remained unsullied.

    I understand part 3 takes place in the basement of public library - The Human Bookworm


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