Falklands 2.0 Reboot

What would the sainted Thatcher say? In response to a does-my-right-honourable-master-not-agree by one of his little men, Daveybloke has had a bit of a burble about the Falkland Islands. Daveybloke's little man was urging him to make clear to the Americans that Britain would not negotiate with Argies, who in the Conservative scheme of things rank somewhat lower than trade union representatives and only slightly higher than Liberal Democrats. "I would say this," burbled Daveybloke; "as long as the Falkland Islands want to be sovereign British territory, they should remain sovereign British territory - full stop, end of story." No doubt that is why Daveybloke's government has scrapped the islands' defences, in reverent emulation of his spiritual grandmother's invitation to her friends in the junta.

The Argentine president, Cristina Kirchner, has had the gall to state that Daveybloke's attitude is somehow arrogant, and that his comments were an "expression of mediocrity and almost of stupidity". Almost? Kirchner's penchant for Latin understatement prevented her from adding more forensic detail, such as pompous (that Blairy-fairy "I would say this") and posturing (Daveybloke tells the Americans what Britain will and will not do); but she did venture the unspeakable home truth that Britain "continues to be a crude colonial power in decline". After this, and with a domestic summer of discontent ahead, surely it must be war. One can virtually hear the onanistic squelch of Liam Fox's sweaty little palms being rubbed together.

Meanwhile, at least one Falkland Islander has decided not to be sovereign British territory, and has defected to the enemy. A certain James Peck, whose father was killed in the 1982 war, chose the twenty-ninth anniversary of Britain's glorious victory to take Argentine citizenship. Presumably the Sun and its ilk will be happy to recommend appropriate forfeits.