We Must Look More Reluctant As We Wreck

Wee Nicky, whose word is his bond, has responded to the electoral disaster with more of the usual: in two or three years the voters will realise that it was he, Wee Nicky, who saved all those jobs and saved the NHS and prevented all those asylum seekers being deported and implemented all those green policies and prevented university fees rising to £9000 across the board and reformed the House of Lords and taxed the bankers rather than clobbering the unemployed and freed the Arabs from tyranny and la la la la la. Having promised bigger cuts than Thatcher's before the general election, and having grinned and yipped like an adoring beagle as Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives went about throwing people out of work and trashing the NHS, Wee Nicky now argues that "one role for his party would be to protect the country from a return to the unfairness of Thatcherism". In his bunker-psychotic confidence, Wee Nicky even joked that a majority Conservative administration might be to the right of this one, perhaps going so far as to bomb uncivilised tribes and grant monopolies to Rupert Murdoch.

Nevertheless, a spokesbeing for Wee Nicky was careful to state that the Liberal Democrats are not going to "have poisonous rubbish briefed into the papers", as the Conservatives do, or "play silly buggers or spring surprises on the Tories", since the Liberal Democrats are now far too weak to risk anything of the kind; and that the electorate is far too stupid to understand should "ministers from different sides of the coalition go on television to set out their differences". Apparently disbelieving these reassurances (I wonder why), the director of Policy Exchange worried that the coalition might be "crippled inside", as though anything could now prevent Daveybloke and his cuddly chums walking all over whatever objections Wee Nicky and the rest of the servants may care to raise. If there is a split, it is much more likely to be within the Liberal Democrats, between those who once thought the party stood for something and those who want to keep their positions at court.

Me at Poetry-24
Noblesse Oblige