The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Redeploymentisation Opportunification

I am sure we all remember how, during the bad old days of New Labour and New New Labour, Britain's brave bobbies were prevented from doing their brave and necessary work because of excess bureaucracy imposed by the bloated government-biggery of a public sector grown virtually foreign in its all-pervasive hideousness. Happily, George the Progressively Regressive has put an end to all that with his little chopper; unfortunately, the malignant anarchist saboteurs of the Warwickshire police authority are collaborating with Labour councils all over the country in trying to make Daveybloke's Big Society thingy look like the tissue-flimsy figleaf that all nice people know it definitely isn't.

Thanks to Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition getting Whitehall out of the way at last, the savings for Warwickshire will necessitate up to a hundred and fifty front-line officers being drafted into desk jobs. Police officers, like members of the Royal Family and the House of Donors, cannot be made redundant, and they can only be retired against their will after thirty years' service; hence Warwickshire's savings will have to be among the civilian staff, who constitute the aforementioned excess bureaucracy and whose perks are of a humbler nature. Once the civilians have been saved, police officers will have to replace them; and since the Government has got out of the way so thoroughly, there will be no money to recruit extra officers to make up any resulting shortfall on the streets. Fortunately, the Home Secretary and her Police Herbert have "repeatedly said it is possible for savings to be found through cutting bureaucracy and back-office functions without hitting the frontline", which clearly settles the matter. A Home Office spokesbeing reiterated the well-known Blairite argument from faith: "We believe that police forces can make the necessary savings while protecting frontline services", and if people of the calibre of the Home Secretary and her Police Herbert believe it, there can be no further doubt. The spokesbeing added a finger-wagging little maxim about time management, so as to leave no sliver of a doubt as to just how far we have come since the bad old days of New Labour and New New Labour: "The effectiveness of a police force does not depend primarily on the number of staff it has, but rather on the way they are deployed". A one-legged man can win an arse-kicking contest, if only he can utilise his metatarsal resources with sufficient prudence and provided the Government has got far enough out of the way to prevent his being encumbered with crutches.


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