The Party That Supports Our Boys

The Royal British Legion has accused Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives of behaving like Nick Clegg, just because Daveybloke made a few promises on the Ark Royal. The Ark Royal has since been decommissioned, and Daveybloke's Cuddlies were probably hoping that the promises could be quietly left to rust until a sudden urgent requirement to save Libya's oil for the nice people necessitated a bit of patch and polish. In his speech, Daveybloke burbled about the Conservative Party's traditional concerns - schools, healthcare, young people with guns and so forth - and said he wanted them all "refreshed and renewed and written down in a new military covenant that's written into the law of the land". Ministers have now been advised that, even with people like Nick Clegg and Michael Gove around to ensure that the Government lives up to its promises, a legal covenant might result in people using the law to do nasty things to the Ministry of Defence. Not wishing to be sued for an arm and a leg by those who may have lost little more than an arm or a leg, Liam Fox has decided that the Government does, after all, have more urgent priorities than the welfare of those who risk life and limb in those great games and manly adventures for which his party loves to wave the flag. The only requirement to be enshrined in law will be for the Government to report every year to Parliament on "everything that is being done to live up to the covenant on things like healthcare, housing and education"; whereupon any shortcomings can be blamed on the situation inherited from the previous government, a tactic Fox proceeded to demonstrate with all due alacrity.