Funnier Than Suez

Britain may soon rival Italy as global military power

Britain's foreign policy has suffered another setback in Libya, with the capture of the Foreign Secretary's idea of a diplomatic team fit for talking to Johnny Arab.

The team of two spies and six special forces personnel was dropped by helicopter onto farmland near Benghazi, challenged by guards and subjected to War on Terror-style baggage searches before being thrown out of the country.

In pursuit of their diplomatic objectives and the international machismo of the United Kingdom, members of the team were carrying multiple passports, weapons and spying equipment, which aroused the Arab suspicions of rebel leaders.

"In Dubai the Israelis used British passports to kill that man, [Hamas commander Mahmoud] al-Mabhouh," said rebel leader Essam Gheriani. "It's a matter of verification."

Gheriani also said that, "At a time of revolution, suspicion is greater than trust", a fact which does not readily emerge from an Oxford degree course in Philosophy, Politics and Economics.

The incident is a major embarrassment for the British Government, which is already reeling from shock revelations that British-made tear gas and weapons are being used against civilians despite clear instructions that such equipment is for democratic purposes only.

The Government was today engaged in a damage limitation exercise, briefing that such difficulties are only to be expected in an administration with William Hague as foreign secretary and Liam Fox as minister of war toys.

"With that kind of material, it's really rather inevitable that foreign policy isn't going to be conducted on the basis of IQ points," said a source.

It is feared that in a worst-case scenario the incident may lead to Italians making jokes about British military ineptitude.