Smith Reloaded

It appears that, despite the discipline-and-punish frenzy that was New Labour, the law is still insufficiently harsh to prevent certain criminals from cashing in on their ill-gotten fame. The national disaster area formerly known as Agent Smith, who was so careful with the taxpayers' money that her husband managed to sneak the bill for a couple of porn films onto her claim for parliamentary television-watching expenses, is making a radio documentary about the industry (the pornography industry, not the benefits-claiming one). After it airs, Agent Smith will be taking calls from the public, presumably in the hope of being mistaken for a celebrity.

Agent Smith's other great achievement in office, aside from such routine items as ID cards and detention without trial, was to provoke the ire of the American foam factory Michael Savage, who threatened her with a lawsuit for defamation when she included him on a list of nasty people "seeking to provoke others to serious criminal acts and fostering hatred which might lead to inter-community violence". Unfortunately, very little has been heard of this since Agent Smith left office, almost entirely of her own volition, in 2009. If the documentary helps to revive memories of her remarkable comic talent, without the near-crippling disadvantage of having her as Home Secretary, then perhaps just this once we may forgive the moral turpitude involved in a petty crook using their record as a means of self-publicity.