The Curmudgeon


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Horror as Limited Humanity Granted to Some Offenders

Conservatives are party of law and order up to a point

New Labour's former minister of dawn raids and deportations has teamed up with a hang-'em-and-flog-'em Conservative backbencher to support the Government in its crusade for the rule of law.

The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that Britain's refusal to allow prisoners to vote is illegal, but the Conservative Party has ruled that Jack Straw, David Davis and the 1922 Committee know better.

The Government will attempt to compromise between what is legal and what its Daily Mail subscribers find acceptable by permitting only those prisoners serving one year or less to have human rights.

Previously, the intention had been to grant human rights to those serving less than four years, but this would have included violent criminals and more than a few wogs.

Some Conservatives see the issue as one of principle: that the executive should be able to use the legislature as a means of overruling the courts whenever it should prove expedient.

The Secretary of Justice and Big Tobacco, Ken Clarke, said that it was not the European Convention but the current fashion for judicial review that was eroding Britain's precious tradition of letting ministers do as they like.

According to ministers, more than 2500 prisoners are likely to seek compensation through the courts. The Government will fight these actions, using the taxpayers' money that is in such abundant supply these days.


  • At 2:00 pm , Blogger W. Kasper said...

    You don't want safe seats threatened by the votes of thousands of disenfranchised, angry poor people do you? The whole tactic works wonders in the US, especially as you lose the vote for life for 'felonies' like drug possession and shoplifting. If that lot got the vote, we wouldn't have had the chance to kill a million Iraqis.

    Next you'll be calling for adult literacy classes...

  • At 2:45 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    I was thinking more along the lines of a special constituency with one MP representing the whole prison population. Even after the Conservatives' gerrymandering, surely there'll still be room in the House of Commons for one more crook.

  • At 4:17 pm , Anonymous Michael Greenwell said...

    You are only allowed to choose the direction of society if you are guilty of and unpunished for massive corporate crimes it would seem.

    Does Archer still have a vote?

  • At 11:04 pm , Blogger W. Kasper said...

    Like the last government, this one loves its tabloid-friendly 'deals'. I expect they'll offer the vote in exchange for drug trials, weapons testing and vivesection. It'll get the animal rights vote on board, offer work to doctors who can't be arsed becoming accountants, and save the universities millions.

    The only drawback is that a lot of them will become super-villains and escape by plowing through the wall with their nuclear-powered spare arms. Tobey Maguire should invest in more security.

  • At 8:23 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    I'd like to see candidates strip searched on their way in to campaign at the local facility. If our massive prison population were allowed to vote, Jesse Ventura would be president.


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