What Taxpayers Want
Daveybloke's Big Society thingy got its first real motivational aid today as the communities secretary announced the first round of cuts in community services. Eric Pickles, who is noted for having charged the taxpayer for a second home so he could avoid a thirty-mile commute to work, decreed that "taxpayers are no longer prepared to write a blank cheque for the public sector", particularly with all those bankers going hungry. All three main parties agreed on this during the general election; which of course is one of the reasons why all three main parties gained such thumping popular mandates.
What the public do want, voice of the people Pickles continued, is "less interference in their local communities from Whitehall government". Pickles' idea of non-interference amounts to inflicting cuts of almost nine per cent on some bits of northern England, while protecting such deprived and downtrodden boroughs as Windsor and Maidenhead, Wokingham and Buckinghamshire. "The discrepancy in funding," explains Britain's leading liberal newspaper, "arises from the fact that poorest areas are the most dependent on central government funding"; as always, those who are most dependent are by definition least deserving, and hence most in need of the responsibility and self-reliance which Daveybloke's Big Society thingy will inevitably confer upon them.
The Government has also announced, rather bizarrely, that the police budget for the Reverend Tony's Commemorative Games in 2012 has been cut from £600 million to £475 million, but that "the £600 million which had been made available will remain available if necessary". It appears that the police can be trusted not to efficientise their operations to fit the larger budget, just as they can apparently be trusted to wear their identification numbers on duty and not to inflict brain injuries on people unless absolutely necessary.
There will be some transitional funding to keep the cuts on the disastrous side of apocalyptic; though as to whether this is a climb-down in the face of a public outcry, or a "compromise" in the Reverend Tony tradition of aiming for sociopathic insanity in the hope of achieving vindictive stupidity, or whether it is simply the result of a failure by Nick Clegg to persuade his new chums that harsher measures are needed, your guess is as good as mine.
What the public do want, voice of the people Pickles continued, is "less interference in their local communities from Whitehall government". Pickles' idea of non-interference amounts to inflicting cuts of almost nine per cent on some bits of northern England, while protecting such deprived and downtrodden boroughs as Windsor and Maidenhead, Wokingham and Buckinghamshire. "The discrepancy in funding," explains Britain's leading liberal newspaper, "arises from the fact that poorest areas are the most dependent on central government funding"; as always, those who are most dependent are by definition least deserving, and hence most in need of the responsibility and self-reliance which Daveybloke's Big Society thingy will inevitably confer upon them.
The Government has also announced, rather bizarrely, that the police budget for the Reverend Tony's Commemorative Games in 2012 has been cut from £600 million to £475 million, but that "the £600 million which had been made available will remain available if necessary". It appears that the police can be trusted not to efficientise their operations to fit the larger budget, just as they can apparently be trusted to wear their identification numbers on duty and not to inflict brain injuries on people unless absolutely necessary.
There will be some transitional funding to keep the cuts on the disastrous side of apocalyptic; though as to whether this is a climb-down in the face of a public outcry, or a "compromise" in the Reverend Tony tradition of aiming for sociopathic insanity in the hope of achieving vindictive stupidity, or whether it is simply the result of a failure by Nick Clegg to persuade his new chums that harsher measures are needed, your guess is as good as mine.
2 Comments:
At 1:25 am ,
Giovanni Tiso said...
"Eric Pickles, who is noted for having charged the taxpayer for a second home so he could avoid a thirty-mile commute to work"
Although in fairness it would have taken him all day on the
Pickle car.
At 7:45 pm ,
Philip said...
Which, if the tail at the rear is genuine, Mr Frumble appears to have genetically modified using his own DNA.
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