The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Peter, George and Tony

One of the Chilcot inquiry's less reliable witnesses is to be called back for a bit of another chat, certain discrepancies having emerged between what was said at the last bit of a chat and the boorish insistence of mere facts. The Reverend Tony will be given another chance to push his book, and incidentally to explain away the judgement of his old school chum and sometime attorney general, Peter Goldsmith.

On the eve of a meeting with George W Bush, wherein his reverence promised to hand over the British armed forces for whatever use Bush and Halliburton might find convenient, Goldsmith passed his chum a secret message which for some reason implied that Tony might perhaps have some sort of interest in the desiccated fustian of mere human legality. The note said that the last UN resolution on Iraq did not authorise the use of force; his reverence, secure in his master's favour, dismissed Goldsmith's qualms with "I just don't understand this" and flew, as planned, to his tryst with the presidential crevice. Bush, or whoever was operating him that day, told his reverence that the turkey shoot would go ahead in March 2003 regardless of what the UN might say or do. On 7 March Goldsmith himself went to Washington for a bit of a chat with lawyers from the Bush administration. It is not clear how many of them there were, or what degree of respect they had been told to demonstrate towards the poodle's poodle; but doubtless it was a most civilised and fraternal affair. After a ten-day interval, which he presumably spent mainly in the company of some soap and water and a very strong mouthwash, Goldsmith delivered another note stating that the massacre would be legal after all.

His reverence told the Chilcot inquiry, during the last bit of a chat, that the legality of the assault was "always a very, very difficult, balanced judgment", although he also told the then head of the armed forces that his views on the matter were "unequivocal". Hence the Chilcot inquiry would like another bit of a chat with his reverence so that this nuance can be straightened out.


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