Not Too Many Brainy Chaps, It Just Gets Confusing

I am sure we all remember the scrupulous and compassionate way in which Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition fulfilled its pledge to end child imprisonment and close the notorious Yarl's Wood detention centre, by deporting people faster and building a new and thus less notorious detention centre somewhere else. Much the same principle has now been applied to the matter of mere scientists who set themselves up against the Holy Writ of political expediency and government by press release; for which we have to thank the last Home Secretary, Alan Johnson, who fired the chair of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs for making the outrageous allegations that politicians distorted research evidence and that some illegal drugs were less harmful than some of Kenneth Clarke's sources of income. Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition has decided to formalise this policy by permitting ministers to dispense altogether with scientific advice rather than soliciting and then disregarding it. Doubtless things work out cheaper that way.

One thing of which this Government can never be accused is going too slowly. Most administrations wait at least a year or two for their mid-term troubles, and sometimes as much as a parliament and a half before their leaders turn blatantly and irremediably barking. One might have hoped for more than a few months' grace before actual psychosis set in, even for the bloke who appointed Liam Fox, Michael Gove and Eric Pickles to cabinet posts. Alas, it now appears that all we can do is wonder what Daveybloke plans to use instead of scientific advice: tabloid psephology, voices from Belize (Mystic Mike?) or readings from the Lib Dem chickens' giblets.