The Curmudgeon


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Crosses Bravely Borne

A new campaign by British Christians, Appalled Not Ashamed, is gaining momentum from complaints by Egypt's Coptic church of state discrimination.

There are eight million Copts in Egypt, but the government bureaucracy makes it so difficult to get planning permission that they only have 2000 churches, as against 93,000 mosques for the terrorist population.

In recent months members of the chuch have also suffered sectarian violence and electoral disadvantage.

"It is disgraceful that these people are allowed to call themselves Christians," said Hypatia Quacksalve, an unashamed long-standing member of the Church of England and appalled opponent of women priests.

"The Bible teaches that a sparrow cannot fall without God's consent and that Jesus' church is wherever three people gather together in His name," she said. "Instead of whining about the way they are being treated, why don't they just welcome His heavenly chastisement and enjoy the sunshine?"

Toby Swilling, who was sacked from the staff of an orphanage for recommending self-castration to gay adolescents, compared the joys of martyrdom to the "embarrassment" of being religious in an increasingly secular British society.

"It's one thing to be shot at or have your house burned down, but it's quite another to wear a crucifix and an I'm A Christian - Appalled Not Ashamed badge and an iStig™ crown of thorns that bleeps in the presence of sin and have to wonder all the time if people think you're a nutter," he said.

The former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Racey of Blathering-in-the-Dotage, said that the Copts' experience contrasts sharply with the experience of Christians in Britain.

"The Christian life is never without its problems," he said. "In this country we have to contend with a free pass to the upper house of Parliament and government plans to pay us to indoctrinate children."


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