Woolas: No Future in Labour Despite Record

Former Minister of Mature Debate Phil Woolas has no future as a Labour MP despite being a race-baiter, an immigrant-basher, a dawn raid and deportation fanatic and an all-around nasty little cockroach, deputy leader Harriet Harman has suggested.

Woolas' campaign team set out to "make the white folk angry" by defaming his Liberal Democrat opponent as the sort of person who would stir up Islamic militancy.

Labour policy has been to stir up Islamic militancy only when it benefits oil barons, arms companies and American geopolitical interests.

Speaking on Andrew Marr's We're All Cretans Here show, Harman said that it was no part of Labour's politics for someone to tell lies in order to get themselves elected.

It is thought that politicians telling lies about fellow politicians could have a damaging effect on British politics, and might even provoke a backlash in favour of major policy differences between parties.

"With political differences growing ever more subtle and often reduced to relative degrees of personal shiftiness, telling fibs about opponents could be the last straw that would open the floodgates in the last chance saloon," an expert said.

The effect could be particularly dangerous now that so many British politicians have opted for radical uniformity under the "big burqa" of neoliberalism.