Cleaning Up Sports

Amazingly, Gordon's bank bailout (or the bloated public sector, as it is commonly known) is not the only New Labour legacy which is costing more than anticipated. The site for the Venerable Tony's Blanched Sporty Pachyderm has been contaminated with toxic waste even before the medal-counters move in, and according to the Environmental Agency it will not be possible to clear up the mess before, or even soon after, the quadrennial farce has finished; although the fact of the Olympics taking place is, of course, the only reason why anyone is even trying. So far, nearly thirteen million pounds has been spent, and the chair of the London Assembly's environment committee has threatened to raise the matter formally with the London Haystack, for all the good that might do. On the bright side, it turns out that the site has been occupied by a succession of private chemical companies, so - although the London Haystack will doubtless blame it on Ken Livingstone, striking firemen, bendy buses and inner-city residents - the pollution is really nobody's fault.