The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Cautionary Tale of Wee Nicky

Who Broke His Promise, And Was Butchered Accordingly

Wee Nicky told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one's Eyes.
The Voters, who were Quite Uncouth,
But Held an Odd Regard for Truth,
Attempted to Believe Wee Nicky;
Alas, the Lad was Very Tricky
And, once in Office, Tore up Pledges
As if they were the Neighbours' Hedges,
And Caused such Damage to the State
That Many wished to Emigrate.

His Horrid Doom came in this Way:
Upon a Bleak and Dreary Day
Some Students who had Missed their Schooling
Because of Nicky's Clever Fooling
Waylaid him in a Darkened Street.
Alas, they Knew Not how to Treat
A Personage of Nicky's Fame
(For which he had Himself to Blame,
Through Leaving Not a Coat Unturned,
Thus Limiting what they had Learned).

And, Caring Not for Gold nor Groats,
Nor Single Transferable Votes,
Nor British Values, Social Size,
Nor Adam Smith the Ever-Wise,
They took Wee Nicky by his Lip,
And Yanked it with a Mighty Grip,
Till, with a Ghastly Squelch and Spray,
They Pulled his Frontal Parts Away.
Let Honest Children Heed his Case:
He Broke his Word, and Lost some Face.

with apologies to Hilaire Belloc and thanks to Broken Biro

2 Comments:

  • At 6:58 pm , Blogger brokenbiro said...

    Classic! A great poem for our troubled times.
    I love the line: Through Leaving Not a Coat Unturned

     
  • At 4:07 am , Anonymous darjeeling junkie said...

    Seconded.And when was the last time you heard someone use 'groat'?
    bravo!

     

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