The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What We Need Around Here Are Some Less Friendly Helicopter Gunships

After the best part of nine years, the occupation of Afghanistan by the forces of enlightenment is going so swimmingly that NATO officials are considering inviting the Russians back in to help keep order.

The USSR occupied Afghanistan between 1979 and 1989. During this period, Soviet forces were valiantly resisted by the brave and tenacious freedom fighters of the mujahideen.

The Soviet regime was notoriously brutal and corrupt, but the west nevertheless withheld the hand of friendship until the government of Russia was securely controlled by appropriate elements of KGB middle management and the mafia.

After the terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001, when America was attacked by terrorists, the mujahideen cunningly metamorphosed into an extremist Taliban which manufactured hard drugs and refused to ban the burqa.

When the Taliban were ordered to surrender Osama bin Laden, they agreed to do so if the Americans would tell them where he was, and under this provocation the Allies invaded the country.

The NATO secretary general, Foggy Ratsmumble, said that he hopes NATO and Russia will be able to co-operate on counter-terrorism and counter-narcotics, thus covering both of the pretexts under which Afghanistan is being civilised.

Russian helicopters and crews are thought to be better adapted to Afghan conditions than their western counterparts.

This may account for the fact that Russian helicopter gunships are still remembered with fear and loathing, while NATO helicopter gunships are pelted with flowers by rejoicing children every time they hover above a compound.


  • At 8:02 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    Sounds like we're playing "hot potato." The Russians fell for it last time.


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