No Finesse

Like Tony and George on their crusade in Iraq, Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives do not intend to allow a little thing like an approaching precipice to keep them from staying the course. The Minister of Motoring, Porker Hammond, has sped in to squash the Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne, who suggested that the Government's war on public services might be "finessed" if circumstances changed. Huhne is secretary of state for climate change, which should be sufficient indication of how seriously he is taken by the Conservatives. Hammond emphasised that the hobbling and starving would not take place all at once, but would be drawn out over four years so that everyone could enjoy it longer: "if a department is reducing its spending by 25% overall, it won't be 25% in year one. It will be maybe 6% in year one, and 6% in year two." Since "front-line services" - headline services, in Standard English - will be cut by less, others - those where hard-working families can take up the slack, for instance - could be reduced by as much as forty per cent, which will be maybe 10% in year one, and 10% in year two. Hammond said that, while the slashing and burning would not be adjustable, it would be manageable. Hammond claimed £8 short of the maximum allowance for a second home in London while living within commuting distance of Westminster, and spent some thousands of public money on newspapers and cutlery; so for him I dare say it will be.