Legal Aid

Sir Paul Stephenson, the commissioner of the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club, has suggested to the Home Secretary that certain protective measures be put in place to prevent the sort of faux pas that took place with such dispiriting regularity under New Labour. Although the past few years have made almost embarrassingly clear, over the space of at least two shootings and one fatal assault, that the police are above the law, Stephenson feels it would be better if the situation were legally formalised. Hence, those who wish to sue the police for damages over brutality or wrongful arrest, and who thereby make themselves a cause of irritating bureaucracy for officers who would be better employed cracking heads at demonstrations, must have their lives made more difficult; while those who have the temerity to hold the police to account using the Freedom of Information Act must be made to pay for their presumption. Stephenson is also distressed at the lack of "cost disincentives" for police officers and staff who waste on employment tribunals the time and money that could be more profitably spent on - to take a random example - race relations. The Home Office "enjoys a good relationship" with Sir Paul Stephenson, and Daveybloke's Minister for Domestic Harmony always considers carefully whatever opinions Sir Paul Stephenson may vouchsafe, in spite of Sir Paul Stephenson's apparent belief that the rule of law should amount to little more than a protection racket for the benefit of those who can pay the most.