Schoolboy Humour

The Labour MP Frank Field, who has somehow got himself appointed as one of Daveybloke's court jesters, will soon be lightening the burden of leadership with a few little jokes about poverty. He will start with the old chestnut about helping working parents, many of whom will not be working for much longer once George the Progressively Regressive starts swinging his little chopper. "We should be responding to what parents want", he will say, cunningly conflating the terms parents and school fee-payers in a neat bit of wordplay which will certainly amuse the Bullingdon bloke whose idea of a jolly jape is saying "twat" on the radio or faking a German accent. Field will also propose the introduction of a GCSE in parenting: a subtly veiled skit on the ever-skittish Michael Gove. Presumably those who fail the GCSE in discipline and family values will not be prevented from becoming parents until they can pass it - much as those who cannot count are not prevented from becoming Secretary of State for Education. To end his routine, Field will recommend that mothers be advanced up to £25,000 in child benefit payments so that they can look after young children. That should bring the house down.