Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope

Britain continued to be full of pope today as the pope's papal visit continued to fill Britain with the papacitous popeness of its papal popery.

The pope, who expects no crowds to greet him and consistently dresses in a modest and self-effacing manner, has warned against the culture of celebrity except as it applies to the likes of John Henry Newman and certain anatomical specimens.

The pope has also blamed the Holocaust on the atheistic urge to do away with God. Hitler, who was brought up a Catholic, forsook hundreds of years of Christian tradition in favour of persecuting Jews and dissidents while invoking Providence as his guide.

The pope is expected soon to blame the excesses of the mediaeval witch-hunts on militant secularism. Heretics were always handed over to the secular arm of the state for punishment, while the Church did nothing more than abstain from being its brother's keeper.

The pope's papal visit is the first papal visit by a papal pope since the previous papal visit by the previous papal pope during the papal popery of the previous pope's papacy.

The pope is visiting as the leader of a minority religious sect, but occasionally transubstantiates into a head of state for funding purposes.