Night of Terror

Police hold foundations of civilisation steady as tabloid editor accused of falsehood

Foreign anarchists fuelled by drink and drugs mounted a violent attack on the heart of British democracy last night, according to the Metropolitan Police.

The trouble began yesterday, when allegations emerged that a Government public-relations officer might have said the thing that was not.

If true, the allegations would be the most devastating revelation about a Downing Street spin doctor since the last time a Downing Street spin doctor was caught telling an untruth.

Previous Downing Street spin doctors have included Peter Mandelson and Alistair Campbell, who between them are largely responsible for the near-universal esteem in which their calling is held.

Downing Street dismissed the allegations with a light laugh. "We'll take the word of a Murdoch tabloid editor and the Metropolitan Police over the New York Times any day," a spokesbeing said.

The Minister for International Exploitation condemned the rioters, saying that they were seizing on the words of someone who thought something ought to be investigated.

A statement by the Metropolitan Police said that nobody had yet been shot, because some of the perpetrators were Americans and might shoot back.