The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

All That Body Armour Won't Come Cheap, You Know

When the Working Classes Bubble with Sedition (with sedition),
And Riotous Behaviour is at Hand (is at hand),
Then Jumps the British Bobby to his Mission (to his mission)
And, cased in Kevlar, Fights the Traitor Band (traitor band).

When a Budgetary Twit gets out his Chopper (out his chopper)
And Rubs his Hands at all the Cuts to Come (cuts to come),
Why, then the British Bobby comes a Cropper (comes a cropper)
And is Treated just like any Single Mum (single mum).

Taking one Consideration with Another (with another),
A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One (happy one).

The president of the Police Superintendents' Association is to convey "surprise and disappointment" that police forces have not been given the kind of immunity from George's little chopper which - presumably in order to facilitate the continuing profitability of the Private Finance Initiative - has been extended to parts of the NHS. "In an environment of cuts across the wider public sector, we face a period where disaffection, social and industrial tensions may well rise", and Chief Superintendent Derek Barnett intends to make certain the Home Secretary appreciates the importance of a happy and confident police force in ensuring that all the casualties are inflicted by the right side. In a marvellously convoluted sentence, he shrugs off the contributions of police community support officers, special constables and non-warranted police staff by lumping them in with journalists and politicians, and notes that when the inevitable disorder erupts (though "not because of this particular government", perish the thought), it will not be such people who have to go out and crack heads. "It will be our police officers", who now number a record hundred and forty thousand.

Barnett reinforces his point by reference to the Peterloo incident of 1819, in which about a dozen brave young men doing a wonderful job in difficult circumstances were slaughtered and hundreds more injured by rampaging political protesters, according to the official pathologist's report. Barnett compares the massacre to "the current alcohol-related disorder", and says that history has taught him that "there will always be widespread threats to the public peace", much as history tends to teach generals that there will always be wars, and bankers that there will always be subsidies.


  • At 7:17 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    They'd better hurry up and finish apologizing for past abuses before they re-enact them.

  • At 7:26 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Still, it might be fun watching squads of Moderate Police battling their way through picket lines of Militant Police in order to force recalcitrant BBC personnel to cover the Tory conference.

  • At 6:58 pm , Anonymous Madame X said...

    I was beginning to wonder about the necessity of different layers of police when one set goes on strike or otherwise changes allegiance to their fellow working (or out of work) stiffs.


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