Those Who Cannot Pay at the Door Should Consider Our Society Not Quite Big Enough

The party which appointed Sir Philip Green as Minister of Austerity; the party which criticised profiteering by energy companies in opposition and now condones it in government; Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives, of all the Blairite political organisations in the world, have been accused of - one blushes even to report it - hypocrisy. Eric Pickles, the instrument of Dame Shirley Porter's revenge upon the Audit Commission, has criticised the use of taxpayers' money by public sector organisations for lobbying or publicity purposes; and only a couple of days ago the Minister for Cultchah ordered the staff of the Film Council to report to his artistic retreat and account for their temerity in defending themselves against closure. Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives, on the other hand, are merely charging public organisations a minimum of £293.75 to attend the party's annual grin-and-spin festival in Birmingham. A blatant product of broken Britain, who has descended so far as to become the managing director of a public-relations company, condemned this act of philanthropic democratisation as "rank hypocrisy", raising serious doubts as to the ability of certain people to be genuinely all together in Daveybloke's big society.