Taliban Fury at "Tasteless" Computer Game

The Taliban has expressed disgust at a computer game where players can act as arms dealers feeding British ministers expensive meals.

Speaking from a compound Somewhere in Helmand, a spokesbeing urged British shops to ban the popular game "for humanitarian reasons".

Contract Killing 2: Peristalsis of Honour is based on the relationship between the British government and its intimate friend BAE Systems, the arms company responsible for much of the upper echelons' austerity diet.

Players must buy senior MoD staff meals of increasing size and quality in order to win enough contracts to enable their company to afford the minister's services as a consultant on his retirement from politics.

If the minister resigns or explodes, gamers are forced to start again from scratch, unless they have built up sufficient ingratiation points with potential successors.

"It's shocking that someone would think it acceptable to recreate the acts of BAE Systems on British ministers," said the Taliban in an official statement. "At the hands of British forces armed with BAE products, children have lost fathers and wives have lost husbands.

"We are disgusted and angry. It's hard to believe any citizen of Britain would wish to buy a game so saturated in non-Saudi values. We would urge retailers to show their support for honest government and ban this tasteless product."