Prompt, Impartial, Credible

The Righteous State has kindly agreed to investigate to its own satisfaction the question of whether the collective punishment of the people of Gaza and the assassination of foreign civilians in international waters is compatible with the interests of the Righteous State. No investigation will be made of the government's role in the raid, which doubtless is why Bibi the Righteous Yahoo is convinced that the inquiry will "prove that the goals and actions of the state of Israel and the Israeli military were appropriate defensive actions in accordance with the highest international standards" or, in Standard English, will be as effective a whitewash as is possible under the rather difficult circumstances. There will be two international observers without voting rights, one of whom is a member of the Friends of Israel project so as to forestall unnecessary risk of anti-semitic tendencies, and neither of whom is Turkish or in any other way susceptible to bias. "To have a defendant acting simultaneously as both prosecutor and judge is not compatible with any principle of law", griped the Turkish foreign minister, whose experience of independent government inquiries must be rather slight. However, the Righteous State's formula, according to Britain's leading liberal newspaper, was devised after calls by certain unspecified persons for an international inquiry were rejected by certain other unspecified persons whose word appears to have been final; and the White House in its zeal for justice is confident that the results will be prompt, impartial, credible and (which is where the White House and I agree) transparent. So that's all right.