The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Pink Window-Dressing

It has long been known that the Conservative Party has nothing against homosexuals provided they are rich white neoliberal homosexuals; and Daveybloke, the Cuddly Conservative, is about to massage the point home by inviting a few of the lesser sort of gay people into his big tent and telling them what a wonderful journey he has planned.

Daveybloke intends to "do more to allow headteachers to exclude homophobic bullies and give teachers the powers to stop violent incidents"; this is essentially a restatement of Conservative educational policy with the Gove-history component removed and the word homophobic strategically inserted. It amounts very nearly to an admission that homophobic bullying is in fact bullying and not just good clean fun; this is certainly progress, but many of us managed to make that leap some considerable time ago. Daveybloke further intends to offer a commitment that the Government will not deport any genuine refugees over their sexual orientation. It is as yet unclear whether the present Government, like the previous one, considers the term genuine refugee an oxymoron, but the signs so far are not especially encouraging. Finally, Daveybloke intends to repeal criminal convictions for gay sex prior to 1967, when Britain was still a Christian country as far as homosexuals were concerned. This means that any convictions for gay sex which are more than forty-three years old will not need to be disclosed when applying for a job or for a note from the Criminal Records Bureau certifying one's non-sex-beast status. Very generous, I'm sure.

In short, Daveybloke does not intend to offend his cuddly allies in Europe, the Gafcon wing of his own party or the Con-gaffe wing of the Anglican civil war by allowing gay people to marry or give blood as though they were actual human beings; but he is prepared to make as many of the right noises as are not inconsistent with an appropriately Blairite degree of commitment towards making as much of a gesture as may more or less properly be considered prudent in light of its electorally adjusted feasibility potential.


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