The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Hint, Hint

One of the major landmarks in the Christian state of Ohio, a sixty-two-foot statue of Jesus, has been incinerated by an act of God. The unexpectedly artistic miracle transformed the foam-and-fibreglass lump of Bible-kitsch into a superb pillar of fire on Monday night, and left only the steel frame behind. Natives of the area are already rescuing bits of the foam that fell into a nearby pond, where penitents will doubtless queue to be baptised from now on. Darlene Bishop, a co-pastor of the church who, as befits her surname, exhibits a healthy scepticism towards the Saviour's promises about the rewards of taking no thought for the morrow, says the idol will be rebuilt, "but this time we are going to try for something fireproof".

5 Comments:

  • At 10:30 pm , Blogger Giovanni said...

    "but this time we are going to try for something fireproof".

    Sounds like a dare for the Almighty to use wind next time. Or a flood.

     
  • At 10:52 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Now that we have reached the End Times, it does seem that the Almighty's imagination has declined a bit. What happened to all the locusts, boils and deaths of the first-born from the good old days?

     
  • At 11:26 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Were the insured against Acts of God?

    Guano

     
  • At 11:41 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So, in Ohio, a lightning strike is considered " an act of God" for purposes of securing insurance funds for rebuilding; but is a simply a random act of nature when contemplating the possibility that the almighty may have issues with graven images?

    About what I'd expect from a place where one must spot the natives at least 3 letters for even the above average to have a fighting chance to spell the name of their own state.

     
  • At 2:37 am , Blogger phil said...

    Touchdown Jesus outside the Solid Rock Church.

    As they say, "only in America."

    Praise the Lord and pass the mustard.

     

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