Ruthlessly Scuppered

The London Haystack has taken advantage of this delicate moment in our great nation's glorious political history to remind Daveybloke that London is an awfully big and important city with an awfully big and important mayor squatting on it, and to intimate that it would really be awfully jolly if Daveybloke could do his dashedest to keep the London Haystack's job reasonably safe by imposing the worst of his planned cuts on Liverpudlians and other unworthy sorts, rather than on the capital.

Somehow or other it has also dawned on the London Haystack that part-privatisation of the Underground has been at least as expensive a fiasco as water privatisation, rail privatisation, electricity privatisation, the part-privatisation of the NHS and all those other little fiddles to which the party of Daveybloke and the London Haystack has given its enthusiastic and occasionally profitable support. Accordingly, the Tube has now been placed back in the public domain, with the travelling public coming out as "big winners" although the London Haystack inadvertently omitted to specify how much fares would be lowered this year.

Since it was not a Conservative policy but a New Labour imitation of a Conservative policy, the London Haystack felt safe in referring to the part-privatisation of the Tube as a colossal waste of money; to observe that it takes one to know one would of course be gratuitously obnoxious and witlessly juvenile.