The Curmudgeon


Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Lion Tamer

That gifted comedian, Bomber Hoon, who was filmed seeking work with a lobbying firm, has apologised unreservedly to anyone whose emotions are so unaccountably delicate that they feel he has let them down. Hoon said he had not tried to sell his influence on the back of his ministerial career, although Hoon said that "anyone about to leave one job not surprisingly would use their knowledge, their experience, their skills drawn from their previous positions to try and earn a living in the future". Hoon's previous positions as Minister of Frogs and Huns, Minister of Delays and Cancellations, and Minister for the Gratefully Cluster-Bombed may seem, in the eyes of the uncharitable, to constitute some sort of vague attempt at a ministerial career; but this - rather like Hoon himself - is evidently a gross oversimplification. Hoon said that his situation was no different from anyone else who is leaving a job and looking for another, although not all the redundancies from Gordon's recession manage to get their job-searching efforts on television. Hoon sought sympathy for his difficulties as a person in middle life attempting to find an alternative career, where the skills that brought us the recession, the expenses scandal and various wars are "not readily transferable into other walks of life". Hoon mentioned the unfortunate cases of several colleagues who had spent years languishing on welfare benefits before finding new careers. Anyway, Hoon does not wish to be a lobbyist, possibly because it would be above his dignity. Since, in his case, "my pension is not payable in many years in my case", Hoon wants to live a little and "provide strategic advice to companies". Hoon did not mention whether he had consulted an employment adviser, perhaps at A4E where David Blunkett provides consultancy services out of the goodness of his heart, and where Hoon would probably have been advised to work his way up to providing strategic advice to companies via some sort of work experience, perhaps in McDonald's or a call centre.


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