Snow in Winter - Millions Flee

Vast swathes of Britain were plunged into chaos and global warming denial today as deadly crystals of dihydrogenated monoxide descended on the hapless North Atlantic island.

The substance, which was responsible for the death of national hero Captain Scott almost 100 years ago and still kills many pensioners despite Government efforts to incentivise them into employment, has closed schools and brought public transport to a standstill in the aspiring Third World nation.

Dihydrogenated monoxide, or "water" as it is called by those wishing to de-emphasise its perils, consists of two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen.

Hydrogen is a component in some types of nuclear weapons and was responsible for the Hindenburg disaster of 1937, in which an airship crashed and burned despite al-Qaida not having been invented at that time. Oxygen is a component in carbon dioxide, one of the most notorious greenhouse gases.

The crystals fell from the sky in quantities unprecedented in modern times, except during various winters when nobody was expecting them.