Miliband Approves Climate Despair Avoidance

The Lower Miliband has been doing his bit for the high and noble purpose of pushing the Lower Miliband's statesbeinglike credentials, preparatory no doubt to the post-defeat bout of throat-slitting and back-stabbing which will bring a cleansed and vigorous New New New Labour grinning and posturing into three or four terms of opposition. The Lower Miliband has opined that climate change sceptics are wrong, despite the fact that they are backed by so many of New New Labour's most treasured and coveted chums, and has lectured climate change activists on the inadvisability of despairing at his government's unwillingness to respond to the problem. The Lower Miliband gave a rallying cry of "don't mourn, organise", for the benefit of any activists who may not have thought of that, or who do not feel their experience of being confined and assaulted by the political wing of the police is quite extensive enough. The Lower Miliband observed the advisability of investing in sustainable energy, such as comely coal and pulchritudinous uranium, in order to avoid the unfortunate visual impact of wind turbines, whose extensive use is one of the very few unpopular policies which New New Labour has failed to adopt; presumably because it is unpopular with real people and not just with the public. The Lower Miliband noted that "everything we know about life is that we should obey the precautionary principle", although it is not clear whether, like the Glorious Successor and one or two senior Cabinet colleagues, he believes this should include neutralising non-existent weapons and pre-emptive imprisonment of people who have done nothing wrong.