A Resignation Issue

A Wad of Taxpayers' Money, which had believed itself destined for the modest glories of public service, discovered that it was, instead, an involuntary participant in a transaction between a Respected Parliamentary Figure and the firm of Tapps, Crapper and Flush, luxury bathroom refurbishers by appointment to the well-heeled and the mightily-bowelled.

"You will, I am sure, excuse my asking," said the Wad of Taxpayers' Money, in pardonable discombobulation; "but in what manner or fashion will the outfitting of your bathroom in the party colours, with gold fittings and computerised towel rack, help to serve the public weal?"

"In all probability, it will not," replied the Respected Parliamentary Figure, squatting tranquilly above the National Honour and preparing a major release of political fallout.

"But you are not using me for the purpose for which I was intended," protested the Wad of Taxpayers' Money; "surely this is a resignation issue."

"I am glad you take such a realistic view of the matter," said the Respected Parliamentary Figure; "it may help you to continue in your healthy attitude if you remember that others have to resign themselves to considerably worse."

And, rising with a grunt from his throne, he screwed up the Law of the Land and prepared to utilise it in the retroactive purification of his parliamentary seat.