The Piece of Intelligence

A Piece of Intelligence, having been purchased from a Decent Alien by a Security Serviceperson of the Free World, expressed a degree of curiosity concerning the treatment it could expect in its new existence.

"You have nothing to fear," the Security Serviceperson of the Free World reassured it; "you can look forward to a life of liberty and prosperity in the name of universal human values and market forces, once the appropriate corrective surgery has been applied."

"Corrective surgery?" said the Piece of Intelligence. "But I am perfectly correct as I am, at least within the generally accepted limits. And anyway, if you did not like the look of me, why did you buy me from that Decent Alien?"

"Mere correctitude is not the same as fitness for purpose," said the Security Serviceperson of the Free World. "There is always a bit of twisting involved, and perhaps a minor amputation here and there in obstinate cases. Nothing serious - merely a few adjustments to bring you in line with Government policy."

The Piece of Intelligence was so appalled at this prospect that it fled from the Security Serviceperson of the Free World and sold itself to a Journalist, who left it in a taxi while keeping a tryst with an Official Fabrication.