The Magnate and the Market

A Hard-Working and Industrious Magnate laboured mightily for many years to inoculate his father's mind against misplaced favouritism. He thus inherited the entirety of the family's multinational bile and hot air business as soon as the aged progenitor had amended his will in accordance with the dictates of wisdom, and had subsequently succumbed to the rat poison with which his trusted offspring habitually laced the paternal tea.

One day the Hard-Working and Industrious Magnate came upon a Market being skewed by an Outdated Concept.

"Begone, villain!" thundered the Hard-Working and Industrious Magnate, hurling at the miscreant several dozen fairly inexpensive politicians and news editors; whereupon the Outdated Concept fled squeaking from the scene, never to trouble man, magnate or market again.

"Why do you lean away from me like that?" asked the Hard-Working and Industrious Magnate, perceiving the Market's continuing lack of upright and natural growth.

"Alas," replied the Market, "your attack on that Outdated Concept was so vigorous and sudden that I am suffering fluctuations, which are having a most deleterious effect upon my general stability."

Overcome with compassion, the Hard-Working and Industrious Magnate drove the Market into a corner, where he milked it thoroughly until its bottom dropped out.