They'll Try Anything To Stay Here

Britain's chronic lack of proper border controls has resulted in yet further delay to the process of ridding our blessed isle of one more failed asylum seeker. A ten-year-old Nigerian taxpayer traumatisation unit was placed in detention in June along with her mother but, despite the suffering this caused her, was released after three weeks. The mother was detained again two months later, while the spawn of residential non-deservingness was allowed to stay with an aunt. After ten days this oversight was discovered and a squad of fifteen immigration officers, backed by police and social services (the SAS were presumably busy elsewhere), dragged her screaming from the house and threw her back in chokey. Fortunately, none of the personnel involved appears to have suffered injury. Although a psychotherapist had reported the possibility of a suicide attempt, the proto-jobseeker was somehow permitted to fail in her effort to strangle herself, and her removal has now been delayed further thanks to the legalistic pettifogging which has sullied so many of New Labour's cleansing attempts. The only bright side to the sorry saga is that there is, as yet, no prospect of this case turning some corner of a British field forever Nigerian.

Anyway, as Justin points out, what a jolly good thing it is that the likes of Gordon Brown and Jack Straw are - ethically, at least - so different from the BNP.