Maternalisatory Facilitification, Legislatificatory Clarificationality

The Minister for Tiny Consumers has clarified (or, in Standard English, altered) one of New New Labour's more hysterical bits of tabloid-pandering by graciously extending his permission for parents to look after one another's children. Of course, most of the child abuse which takes place outside faith schools is committed in the family home or by family friends; but, contrary to what one might think, it does not appear that this was the major motive behind the mild ministerial attack of rationality. Instead, the Minister has been moved to re-draft the statute (something the House of Commons used to be for, when it was still an instrument of government as opposed to politics) "after two police officers were told they were breaking the law by looking after each other's young daughters". Since no shooting appears to have been involved, it was evidently considered inexpedient to have a couple of Government enforcers in open breach of the law; therefore the law must be changed, despite its obvious advantages in terms of imprecision, intrusiveness and imbecility. The Minister has also made it clear that private child-care arrangements between parents are "matters for parental discretion and decision", provided that the sacred bond of hard cash is not blasphemously invoked in the process.